Second Dog Syndrome

You know how it goes (if you've acquired a second dog).

You start to wonder where you left the lint rollers. The fur bunnies are growing in the corners of your house. There's furballs in your garden.

You wonder why he doesn't like mushrooms, apple cores and marmite, until you realise that was exclusive to first dog and not a general everydog thing.

You hear mysterious chewing sounds. You race to the vicinity of second dog. Second dog looks at you innocently. You know you'll find what he was chewing once he's finished chewing it, but until then there's nothing you can do.

You dig out an item of clothing you bought after first dog died and haven't worn since getting second dog. There is fur on it.

You remember how your house used to smell when it was dogless, but a big part of you doesn't care anymore.

Occasionally, second dog farts. Alarmed, you rush round the house in case it is More Than That, because you don't know each other well enough yet to be certain he just wouldn't.

Long silences make you suspicious. What's he up to?

Your best attempts to be furtive, spontaneous or use clever descriptive language for walks, feeding and playtimes fails miserably. Within a week second dog effortlessly knows what you are planning when.

Everything nice at 'tail height' has to be moved.

You wished you hadn't thrown out the 'designated spoon' when it comes to mixing up dog meat and biscuits.

You are grateful that cheese still appears to have universal power across the dog world to evoke rapt concentration.

Second dog falls asleep on your feet. You think 'Why did I wait so long to do this again?'