I know I mention biscuits a lot. I like them.
At the beginning of my crip career, biscuits were often close by. I welcomed them with open armfuls.
Last night, I sat and consumed several (about 8.. ish) in consolation for the fact I had to go and have a scan this morning and the appointment letter forbade me any food after 10.00pm at night.
Never mind, I thought to myself, lounging on the sofa watching 'Beyond Boundaries'. At least the last food I'll have is some nice biscuits. As the crips (yes, they called themselves crips last night - aha!) trek became more and more difficult, more and more comfort biscuits on my part were deemed necessary.
So apart from a painkiller at 5.00am this morning, no food - just plain water - has passed my lips. Twice this morning, I caught myself wandering into the kitchen in search of food. I never really bother much about breakfast, but when you can't have something, somehow you feel deprived even if you don't usually want it in the first place.
Got to the hospital. Put the gown on. Had the scan. Feeling so full of water I wasn't the slightest bit hungry.
Halfway through, she turns away from the screen and says to me "Have we had something to eat this morning?" and looks me straight in the eye for the first time, trying to catch any looks of guilt. "Nope - just water" I answer truthfully, feeling a little guilty nevertheless (like you do sometimes when you see a police officer). "There's something in your stomach," she says again, looking once more in case I crack. I repeat "No, I've eaten nothing, I promise you..." She runs the scanner up and down my stomach. Blue goo slides down my sides. She frowns.
"It's biscuits" she says. "You've got biscuits in there."
"No I haven't" I reply, feeling certain and a little bit worried. Can you get biscuit-shaped tumours?
"Never mind" she says. Some people look like they have things in their stomachs - even... (and again with The Look)... if they haven't. Maybe it's all the water you just drank. Either that, or you have some permanent internal biscuits."