Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Begging For Toys?

I need a new chair. I need a new car. I really need an adjustable vibrating bed (neck injuries after car accident). I need a power trike like a four year old needs lollipops.

The approximate cost of a new chair, new car (cos they have to fit each other), new bed, and new trike (strictly for fun) is around 37,000 quid.

Oh, and I need to move house too.

I might get the chair through Access To Work, or at least 95% of it. I might use motability for the car (although Mr F dead against). Maybe my accident compensation will pay for the bed - but then again that sum would also include things like loss of earnings, so they'd be blown on the bed and not used for other essential costs those bastards don't seem to be able to claim for. That's another rant another time. We could go shared ownership on the house if the housing association don't take us in for accessible accommodation as per my medical letters. Detached next time, even if we end up in a bloody shed.

I might set up a begging website for the trike though. Nobody is going to have funding to buy me a trike, are they? Because lets face it, disabled kids get toys and treats. They're cute, they're dying, and they should have it, of course. But do you see any charities distributing fun stuff to disabled adults? Of course, there are some people who are the recipients of such things, but they are usually very, very disabled. I'd still argue that for your bog-standard living-privately on a low income crip, no one really dishes out for the fun stuff. You get what you need, sure (or not quite, I'm sure there are plenty of heads nodding here...I do know I'm lucky to live in the UK), but I bet there's too many of us who don't have the money to spend on fun accessible things... like trikes.

My mistake was visiting a mobility roadshow a few weeks ago and picking up a brochure from every single stall. Now I know what can suit my needs, make my life easier - and most importantly - make it fun. (16 miles an hour round Newbury racecourse sure blows away the cobwebs)
But is any of it within my reach?

Is. It. Arse.

There was this woman in the states who set up a begging website because she needed to pay off her credit cards. Now a quick trawl on the internet will find begging websites all over the place.

I'm sure there are plenty playing the disabled card. However, I wonder how many are disabled people saying, ok, I've basically got a roof over my head, some form of transport/access gadget/wheelchair (if not my preferred one), a bit of money for biscuits every now and then, I'm not suffering particularly and I'm not about to die tragically, but I really want some high end, high fun accessible gadgets? Lets be honest here, I can do without them, I don't have to spin you a sob story or anything, but I'm sick of the bloody wheelchair service and I want me one of those big flashy trike things, and an adapted motor home, and an accessible yacht, and ya know that Larry Flint? Well I might just fancy some gold plating on my wheelchair too...

Its about time we stood up (in a new posh standy-up chair thingy if need be) and said, dammit, I want some fun things!

There could be a new Fang website emerging shortly. I'm really sold on this idea. A begging website to get the extras with no heartstring tugging required. A no-nonsense, honest approach, that says "Yeah, I'm a crip, and life's chugging along, but due to not being an equal member of society yet I can't quite get the income up for some fancy accessible gadgets... wanna help?" Yeah. It could happen. All I need to do is get meself down the bank, set up an account, and away I go. On a smaller scale, Private Eye does a section called "Eye Need" and I had thought about putting an ad in there, but all those people are desperate - whereas strictly speaking, I'm not.

Of course, if the site was successful, it could be opened to other crips in the same boat. Just make a case for your 'wants', however big or small, and post it up there. It could happen...

But hey, if you don't ask....

Any early requests?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Agent Fang,

I really did LOl about that! I saw an ebay ad in the us ebay where a woman was recounting her terrible day with her brood of kids and asked for money to help replace her bathroom! she also sold the cricket ball that broke her wondow, even though she *wanted* to sell the kids!

MMM..I wish for a doody sports chair..I NEED any old chaor fr those bad days..but a sports chair...mmmif I have tobe a crip, I want to be one in style....

Thats why I have gel insert crutches..yup, I need the comfort, but pipe insulation or gel..emmmm..See my logic??

I'll settle for a trike too, esp if they can fit a buggy board ;)

hugs

Kerry

Ruth said...

i would love to have a handcycle. however thats the last on my,list-i relate to what youre saying and i feel guilty that i even want one. but the fun stuff-its hard when you go see it get the brochure and know the slim chance of ever riding one, much less owning one.
will be back toyour site, liked it a lot. thanks for sharing your fun stuff thoughts..

The Goldfish said...

Whilst buying a replacement part for my NHS wheelchair (I know it’s not my responsibility, but I was in a hurry, as in I needed my chair to be operable before Christmas 2007) I was in a massive mobility shop, which had everything a crip could desire. But in there window, display only, they had a rather ancient wooden or cane wheelchair, the sort of thing Renoir must have sat in, producing his greatest works. Now call me a masochist for style, but that would be so cool. I mean, I daresay my spine would be shattered by the end of the road, but wouldn’t it be worth it? It is hard being a Bohemian surrounded by steel, plastic and rubber.

But on a more practical but equally fantastic level, I would love an all-terrain electric wheelchair. It’s frustrating living two hundred yards from a beach I can’t actually ‘walk’ along, within a national park I can only explore by car. They have these for Shop-Mobility style hire at some coastal places, but not around here.

Agent Fang said...

Goldfish, although I don't know what you look like, somehow I can see you in that vintage chair... in a particular mood, on a particular day perhaps? My wheelchair supplier has one of those too. As far as other chairs go, it might be the only model we can afford.

I'm glad I've struck a chord with everyone... because we're worth it, right?

imfunnytoo said...

This column made my *day* even though I got to it late...

In the US a snazzy accessible van is about 45k, and if you cannot drive it yourself you have to come up with the 45k yourself...but I want one and will sit in the corner till I get it and the PCA/roomie can drive me around in it....

An accessible *trike?* Well, I'll get the van first :)

What a great idea

Anonymous said...

I think I can picture what this trike is, but I don't think I've ever heard of/seen one before.

It's funny that you mention the No Toys For Grownups thing. Whenever I read about another chronically ill kid getting a kickass trip or something from Make-a-Wish (do you know what that is? Huge charity org in the States to give "wishes"--where "wish" most often equals "I'm going to Disney World"--to kids with terminal or chronic illnesses) or about their community covering their medical bills or something, I get a bit jealous and bitter. And then I feel guilty as hell, of course, but, really, I do often feel I started this whole "sick" thing just way too late! Maybe I just need a smaller community or a religion, because, damn, I'd sure love to have Those Good People who come clean your house or bring you dinners and create a Pay The Sickee's Medical Bills bank account. Yup, I'm the conductor on the train to hell with such self-absorbed ideas, but, whatever; Make-a-wish for grownups would be damned nice, even if the wishes were more like "I want to pay my electric bill" rather than "I wanna meet Princess Jasmine!"

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