The Lion Whisperer

It was hot today so Mr F and I went on safari as you do (oh, alright, we went here).

It's a great day out, partly because it's all in-car and so a great leveller for mobility impaired crips, but mostly because no matter how many times you go you always see the animals doing something different.

Today we got mugged by parrots in the parrot-house, I told a lion he was lovely, whereupon he rolled over on his back and put all four paws in the air, watched the bears fight the wolves for some fish (Bears - 3, Wolves - 3), watched two monkeys fight a bitter and strategic battle for some cabbage leaves, and finally, after the cabbage war was won and all was peaceful, decided to set off for home - whereupon a monkey came from out of nowhere and parked itself on the bonnet of our car, staring in directly through the windscreen.

Fresh from charming the lion, I tried out my newly found powers of persuasion. "Wave to me, Monkey", I said in a Very Commanding Voice. It seemed to pay some attention and stared straight at us, (that's a good start, thinks I), but then the cheeky devil slowly lifts one leg very high and begins a long, leisurely (rather hypermobile) scratch of the backside.

There was no doubt about it, the beast was having a good ol' laugh at the newly claimed Fangian 'way with animals'. But all was not lost. The overconfident simian was so keen on giving a good show that it leaned over a little too far onto one skinny butt cheek, and, in a most ungainly manner, toppled straight off the bonnet... !

Note to self: next Rhematologist appointment - must try commanding her to wave at me.